Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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