After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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