I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize