She is in my trunk
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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