I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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