My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
