Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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