Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
