This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
