I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
