ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
