I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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