So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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