would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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