I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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