you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize