you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
