Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
