I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
