There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We had sex on a dog bed..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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