Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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