11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
