I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
