Nicole vs. Life
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
