Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
