what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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