I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
