Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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