I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
