You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
