This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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