So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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