I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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