worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
