How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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