The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
