this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
