TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
