It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Drake has all the answers
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
