If i come over, it means nothing
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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