Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
