Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
