Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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