He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Randomize
