it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
