There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
