Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
