I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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