I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I love you. Go after that dick
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Two words: nipple clamps
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