She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
