i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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