i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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