If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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