the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
