What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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