I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let's get the cat blown out
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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