He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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