In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
