OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
