can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
