Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
