my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
