Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
