My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
