I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
