After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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