so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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