she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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