My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
