the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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