haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
