Swine flu. Run for my life!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
