I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
