I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
