hotel room ftw
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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